Saturday, 19 March 2011

Sweet Nothing!!!!!..

So for the past three days, I have experienced the famous 'writer's block'...nothing to write/vent about.. i woke up this morning listening to rihanna's 'Loud' album and as they say idea is need, so i thought to myself..why not write a/an  not so interesting post on Men' and yes while doing that i randomly thought about the men in 'fani's little world..the unlucky sods, not so popular ones and the sweet albeit slightly annoying ones who wont just go away..why though??..oh well!!!...let me digress a bit and speak the gibberish language...I'm the type of person who doesn't put everything into a relationship, like for me there's a solid Plan b'..what's plan b??...okkk, plan b is that space in my heart where all the necessary flooding hurts, rejection, tears, sadness etc stay and yeah that part is totally unfeeling and stone u ask??..well..lets just say i create some sort of distraction so i avoid the 'mooning ' period..Yes!!!'s totally silly and no one should have to do that, it ' Worked' for me then, but i'm  changing all that...Amen

A lot of you might call me mean , even though i slightly agree with you..i'll make it clear that i Refuse/Wont settle for less..i'm not saying that my not so many boyfriends weren't fantastic but i just never saw that 'Future hubby' thingy in them..for me, future hubby isnt just someone who comes home with the kids screaming 'daddy daddy' all over our lush 'four bedroom terraced house'..i'm saying it's deeper than that..I want to be loved sillyyy...there are so many things i wanna say to that 'right person' darkest secrets, my fantasies, dreams and all, someone who accepts me for being me...Like i'm not part of that school of thought that believes 'Material stuff' must form the basis of a relationship, in as much as we all want 'the comfortable/well to do' man but really is it just about that.

Call me mushy or anything but i want to be loved every single day of the rest of my life, as in i've been through so much not have a man who would dote on me silly, a man i can spill all the things i've always wanted to tell someone...Look, i'm not trying to be religious or anything cos i'm sure i can feel some people scrunching their aristocratic nose in the air or probably mumbling 'who is she fooling with this'..But i shall forever stand/live by Matthew 7:7-11 (7. Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you, 8.For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened....9 Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? 10.Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? 11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?)

So really, why should i settle for less when my heavenly father has everything in control...As i said from my previous 'Mes Amis ' post, I live on positivity..Just because it didn't work for some people doesn't mean you won't find the right man ..i am tired of people's incessant rants about how there are no good guys there...Please just hush hush hush....there are guys out there looking for their own right woman, nobody said it would be easy, to get what you want you have to pray fervently, seek and you shall's not just meeting the right man and then stop praying , in everything we do we need God's direction, strength and wisdom for a sustainable relationship. and please stop pointing those accusatory fingers just on men alone, have u sat down, reflected on your own life, most of us  have terrible bad habits i.e anger, intolerance, dishonesty. etcetera....hmmm, I smell the ' ohh she thinks she's perfect'...I laugh at that thought already, Me..Perfect????...*snorts *...Err...Maybe when pigs fly, i don't even wanna talk about  my many bad habits..If i could turn back the hands of time i would change so many things but hey, the did has been point crying over spilled milk..(Live and Learn)....

I've been single for a bit now and trust me i'm so working on improving myself, in the midst of my 'self professed independence' i have learnt to be patient which i find thoroughly overwhelming....I wouldn't say that i'm an angry monster but in the past my not-so many boyfriends i've spoken on the 'anger' issue..I'm learning to be more tolerant, a good listener and also being attentive to other people's needs, and i'm not saying that Guys are perfect as well cos if you ask me there are so many ill mannered morons out there who just wanna shag you, deceive you and treat you like a piece of shit.. a lot of us know the obvious but would still settle for less, like seriously why do we do that..we've suddenly decided thats the only man in the world..who told u that big fat lie??...If any man treats you like shit why do u even feel the need to give him a chance, such man should be flushed down the drain or tossed in the bin cos all i see/smell is GARBAGE GARBAGE is too damn short to give urself unnecessary heartache because of some crackhead, if he ain't treating u right the Delete button'...such man shouldn't be given a second thought. ....I'm not saying that it'll be easy, it's not late either..if someone keeps abusing you emotionally really why should u be in a relationship with that person when you can save yourself the energy /stress of being fully committed/married to that person....I recently spoke to an older person who said to me that if she could turn back the hands of time she wouldnt have married her 'then' hubby, she knew the relatonship/marriage was doomed from the start but she just kept hoping he'll change or some miracle would happen .*sigh*...Sometimes we keep asking God  to save us from entering the wrong relationship and Yes he answers...He does!!!!...u r in a relationship and u start to see the bad side to a man u claim to love, the truth is right in front of you but no u decide 'being maltreated ' works perfectly for really who is fooling who???...the signs are there but u still deny urself happiness and yes misery suits you perfectly like a size 8 herve leger bandage dress..Tut tut tut!!!

Enough of the ceasless rants, it's doing my head in already and i might just shove my hands down my throat and Vom ...Please we need to stop limiting ourselves, the right man will come whether u choose to believe it or not...I soooo Believe!!!..I deserve it and so shall it be...The 'Independent phase' should serve as a medium to enjoy life, pay attention to yourself, work on yourself and learn learn learn learn..I have nothing more to say that share this beautiful quote by Domenico Cieri Estrada.."To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship".

And'll be totally  unkind of me not to share rihanna's 'Raining men''s up to u really...Suffer in silence or be a free beautiful rainbow lorikeet'....

Gros Bisous..xoxo

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