So being my random self, i've been doing a lot of ardous thinking which is totally unhealthy by the way..not necessarily with regards to 'Friends' but generally different issues in my life. well, not to digress, the question is what kind of a friend am i?..well for starters, if i could re-live my life, i'd still want to be my own friend..I go out of the way to please people just 'because'..The chosen few that i have, let's just say i love them to bits..Even when i'm in an uncomfortable situation whereby it's my last 20 pounds, i'd rather give it to my friend that needs it .Not trying to blow my own trumpet but truth is 'I'm very nice'.Not to focus much on the monetary aspect...so for a while now i've been going on and on about 'True Friends' bla bla.
Last night, on my way back from church, had this conversation with cocoa and Tee and i randomly asked them if they had friends who weren't necessarily bad but deep down within, you just knew you guys aren't meant to be friends...well, what am i driving at??..I like to think i've made a number of friends over the years, the unlucky ones have gone while the beautiful ones remain..okay!! let me explain this..I had this friend who i became chummy with by coincidence, I wont call her my closest friend but yes i have confided in her at some point but truth is she seems to be affilliated with negativity, in as much as she has her good days but with her it's just drama drama drama...PAUSE!!!!!....let me just say this, a lot of people might not know this but i live on 'Positivity'..it keeps me going, it has been my strength over the years, even when i'm faced with issues i like to think at the back of my mind that everything would be fine.....So back to my friend,it wasn't like i decided to cut her out of my life, truth is i really cant explain it but somewhere, somehow i just knew she wasn't the kind of friend i needed to have around me. so a while ago she sent me an email practically lambasting the living daylights outta my life...according to her, I like to think everything is perfect in 'fani's little world' .I mean this is a friend whom i met like 2 years ago , so i was rather perplexed as to why she'd think i was perfect..i mean do we really have perfect people out there...I mean she said so many things which i'd rather not say but what i'm trying to say is that why do some people find it difficult to move on with their lives..After all, 'Friendship isn't by force, it's by choice'..
I'm not a cold, heartless bitch..I mean if i could turn back the hands of time i'd want to tell a particular friend that i've totally forgiven her, even though we might probably never be as close as before But i still cherish the good times we have.I love the few friends that i have , they are practically my sisters and i'm forever thankful for them, each day i pray to God and ask him to make them virtuous women, women of change cos they've been too good to me.
And No this is not a BFF day, but i'd like to use this medium to appreciate a good friend of mine 'bb'.she's practically like my family, even though i don't necessarily tell her everything but the little that i tell her she perfectly understands,she's someone i can call a true friend , she's been there for me in times of need and i'm forever grateful for the affection, love and honesty shown to me everytime..I love u maami.