Guilty Pleasures.......Final Part!!

"Hello princess"....He said with an overwhelming  longing in his eyes...


All the things I'd planned on telling him disappeared  as soon as he cradled my face in his hands and planted a yet delicious kiss on my mouth...Right in the middle of the Arrivals lounge at Heathrow airport, we kissed each other hungrily...it was a feeling of sadness, longing, pain, happiness,Uncertainty...a mixture of emotions bottled inside but at that moment we just wanted to savor the moment....Time stood still and it was just Us....Just Us!!!!!

"You look tired".....I said , while fiddling with  the Tv remote of the service apt we were gonna occupy for the remainder of our stay in London...
"I'm fine baby, just fine"...He replied

Oh lawd...this wasn't going to end well....

Later that evening, as we sat cuddled in each others arms at the lounge bar of The Dorchester...everything felt like the way it was..... We talked,Not about us tho...about everything from music, politics, life ,our career...Everything but the 'US' bit..... Ohhh, the way he'd glide his right thumb down my shoulder....Delicious tingle all over my body....He wanted me, I could see it in his eyes which had melted into a warm hazel colour ..I knew that look and yes yes I wanted him as well...I needed him so bad.

"You want to get out of here" he said in that gruff voice I'd become terribly familiar with..
"Yes"...I whispered

Thirty minutes later, fumbling with the apt keys..with so much desire frenzy in the air..arrggghhh, it took forever to open but it did...Finally!!!..
He bathed my body with juicy kisses, we tore at each others throats , clothes flying around...I needed to feel him , It had been way too long and just as he was about to....

"No"....I screamed with tears streaming down my face..I couldn't do this, this was wrong , this wasn't the plan...what was wrong with me....Had I become so desperate??...
 "I can't do this, this isn't right"...I went on in a low voice
" Funlola, you know the issue on ground, we both agreed that we'd keep it this way..so what's not right"...he said with a sigh....
 "Ohh, so you actually enjoy this hide and seek, I'm tired derayo,I'm tired of this chase..I don't wanna run anymore..I can't live this way".....I shouted out loud with my fists clenched tightly..
"Stop being difficult funlola" he said calmly

Amidst the ceaseless tantrum, he still managed to look effortlessly grim....The nerve of him!!!...Heaving a deep sigh, he gathered me in his arms with his manly hands running down my back....he had me just where he wanted, he knew my weakness....HE was my weakness!!!

"I love you so much princess" derayo said in a low growl penned with an unending desire...
"I love you too baby, I'm so sorry for losing my temper" I said amidst uncontrollable tears pouring down my face ..

The kisses returned and it was like no form of argument occured...everything was blissful...time stood still....It was just perfect, exactly the way I wanted it to be..I could feel the hair at the back of my neck prickle with excitement, this felt so good for all the wrong reasons..Ohh, Kiky would be gravely disappointment but hey i'm going to throw caution to the wind..i guess 'what won't kill you makes you stronger'...Yeah yeah..Keep fooling yourself funlola..Foolery!!!!


Suddenly i felt a deep poke on my shoulder and  a voice rattled on.. where we landing on??..where was i??...
"Ma'am'..the voice said
"Yes " i said while looking up and adjusting back to my environment...
"We've reached the airport, do i get your things from the trunk"....He muttered.


*sigh*....
"No, Please take me back home"...i said with a weak smile


And as we drove past the airport,I knew deep down that i'd done the right thing..sometimes somethings are better left unsaid, I wanted what i couldnt have..Derayo was taken already, my silly fantasies wouldn't bring him back to me..Kike was right,he was never going to be mine so i guess i'll have to wake up from my deep slumber and move on with my life.I hadn't seen him in six months and three days in london wouldn't change anything .


He'll be waiting for me but sadly i won't be there..


As i pressed the buzzer to the three bedroom apt i shared with the bestie, I knew i had done the right thing..wiping the tears off my cheeks, I spoke into the intercom with the faintest voice .."Kike "...I whispered.
there was a long pause at the other end...i waited patiently for her to say something silly, afterall she had warned me not go..but i heard nothing but the click on the front door..


"You did the the right thing"..she said as she patted me on the back..


At that moment, i mentally remembered the lyrics to Adele's "Someone like u"...♫Nevermind, I'll find someone like you,I wish nothing but the best for you, too,Don't forget me, I beg.. I remember you said, "Sometimes it lasts in love, But sometimes it hurts instead,♫


So i'll be fine... I hope!!!

Guilty pleasures......Him!!

♫..so don’t say it loud, don’t say it strong,I heard it like that before and it meant nothing at all!.....you’re already more beautiful than anything ever...so just whisper the words!...whisper the words!...i love you, i love you, yeah!....i love you, i love you!♫....

The soothing lyrics to Just whisper by Kelly rowland plugged into my ears thanks to the in-flight headset..With my seat reclined backward, i adjust the neck pillow, put on my eye mask as i do not want to be disturbed at all, i just want to delve into sweet albeit confused thoughts just to keep me sane till i get to london.

I should have listened to kiky..I should have... but i guess it's too late to turn back, not even after the last conversation we had on the phone while i was at the airport where she practically scolded the living daylights outta my life telling me i was just a silly girl who loves to deny the obvious ..

"He ain't never gonna be yours"...she screamed 

"Whatever"....I yelled back

"You'll never find happiness with him so just wipe that beautiful illusion off your face, you are a big idiot"..she said furiously...

I was fast losing my patience....I could feel eyes staring at me as i screamed on the phone , i  did not want to create a scene or escorted out of the airport..this conversation needed to end real quick

"You know what..I'll call you when" I hadn't even finished talking before i heard the click of the phone, the bitch hung up on me.Can you bloody imagine?

Oh lawd....What am i doing?

*sigh*......

I remember that sunny thursday afternoon, i was parked right in front of the Gran Melia clothing store on Isaac John, GRA..crying my heart out oblivious of the people around me after the refusal of yet another bank loan for my catering business...My eyes were swollen, puffy and red , not ur idea of a glorious sight..I was tired, exhausted and just wanted to quit, it had been an ardous three month and i was as yet  nowhere as big as i should have been..scurrying from one bank to another and they were all speaking the same rejection language...No thanks to the fact that Dad and I were not on speaking terms, he thinks it's a totally bad idea and we had a major fall out a while ago when i told him i'd consider moving back if everything went according to plan...Let's just say i'm too proud to ask him.

I heard a silent knock on my glass...I feigned hearing but whoever it was wouldn't leave me alone, the noise continued and as i looked up to wave whoever it was away...I found myself gazing into glory..the most beautiful eyes i'd ever seen on a man staring deeply into mine..It felt like a scene from a movie where the knight in shining armor saves a damsel in distress but this was no movie..Okay, Maybe i was experiencing  major financial crisis and i could pass for a damsel i guess..I was wearing a beautiful DVF floral print dress, Chanel earrings and my black Louboutin peep toe courts, and as at eight this morning, i had on a simple fresh faced makeup but no thanks to not wearing my Maybelline waterproof mascara on a day like this, i could feel streaks of mascara running in rivulets down my cheeks.....'I must look a mess'..i thought silently to myself!!




"Yes"...I irritatingly said while winding down my car windows..at this point, i was way past caring whether i looked presentable or not..
"Hey, take it easy "...he said in the calmest  voice .
"Look, I'm really not in the mood for small talk, do i know you?..I said frostily
"hey, it's okay...You are so stubborn, I'm sure people tell you that all the time'..he said


At this time, I was done playing nice..like what arrant nonsense. For chrissakes, I just wanted to be left alone but whatever his name was won't leave and what audacity did he have to call me STUBBORN..me..Funlola Adebanke Jacobs. Talk about being a poke noser!!!


"Can we talk somewhere??..Please"...he said
"Why"..I weakly said
"for starters, my name is Derayo williams and no i don't bite'..he said with a half grin on his face


One thing led to another, he found his way into my car and we headed straight to the Rissioni bar with his driver  trailing behind....In between several rounds of French Martini, i found myself pouring out my heart to him, things i'd bottled inside for years, things i thought i had forgotten..Ohhh I spoke and he listened. Right from that day, something started..a beautiful friendship started...*sigh*


Well...lets just say that warm thursday evening, My impromptu trip to Abuja...Something Happened!!!

To be Continued....

Guilty Pleasures.....Continued!!

Still no sign of Bode....heaving a deep sigh, i scanned round the dancefloor hoping to make eye contact with bukky the 'not so popular miss i know everybody ' but alas, she wasnt there,probably groping some random boy just to make bode green with envy, which was a waste of time considering the fact that he didnt exactly Fancy her...Girlssss!!!

At this point, I could feel a deep frown forming on my face, Maybe i shouldnt have come here...should have headed straight home after lesson, Dad won't be too pleased about my 'after lesson' rendezvous...So many thoughts running through my mind....Okay i'm leaving..That's it, this was a bad idea.I need to get out of here..

 'You look bored, not your kind of party'..a voice said

 'Sorry'...I irritatingly replied

I hadn't  batted an eyelash before she  replied ....'Hello, my name is kikelomo'...she said with a winsomely smile on her round face..

'Funlola'..I replied hastily hoping she would get the memo that i was in no mood for small talk..

Well..let's just say she didnt stop talking and yes our beautiful friendship evolved from that very day..it's been thirteen odd years , we dont necessarily agree on everything..kike is the adventurous, free spiritied one but  can still manage to differentiate between right and wrong..sometimes her split personality amazes me, in a good way tho....As for me, I'm neither here nor there...i try to do the right thing, at least i think i do from time to time.I like to think of myself as fun, lively in a quiet way..(dont know if that makes sense), even though kike has been prodding a lot in my business and she says i've become a bore and according to her my social life involves watching re-runs of soppy tv series and monthly retreat organized by my company.

Is she actually right, have i suddenly resolved to a reclusive lifestyle...hiding under the guise of feeling content and at peace within but different thoughts pouring through my mind...I feign a happy face in the midst of friends and family , put on a forced smile at every oohs and ahhs!!!..Sometimes i wish i could turn back the hands of time..undo the past...ended somethings before the idea even formed.

As i allow the cool heavenly breeze guide my thoughts , i remember the delicious nights at Hotel Balzac in Paris..His glorious laugh which rang out like bells on the night ..soothing yet deeply genuine, the way he pursed his lips when i refused to wear the Chopard earrings he got me to dinner at Le Pre Catelan..ohh he was intimidatingly imperious, insanely formidable, amazingly sweet, deliriously witty and yes yes Gorgeous...the way he cradled me in his arms when i moaned out a soft cry of bliss after the joyous lovemaking we had....He was my safe haven..

"Ma'am"...a disgruntled voice muttered continuosly...

"Oh sorry, lost in thought'....I said, with an awkward smile on my face

"We've reached the airport'...he said while getting out of the car to get my Goyard hand luggage..

As i opened the car door, my heart starts to beat ten times faster than it normally does...Am i doing the right thing..Can i ? should i?..Is this wise...I know someone who would be more than pleased if i went back home..*sigh*

To be continued.....

Guilty Pleasures...

I wrote this a while ago...last year actually, a random story about characters that don't exist....

“Funlola, I don’t think you should go”.kikelomo’ my bestfriend of thirteen years  tirelessly ranted over and over again  while flicking through the channels on the tv..oh lawd! Are we really having this conversation again??I thought silently to myself. It’s been two weeks and five days and I had countlessly told her it was a harmless three day trip to London.....H.A.R.M.L.E.S.S!!!!

‘What do you hope to achieve by going, things are still going to be the way they were, so don’t get your hopes high lavie’.....She bluntly shouted.

I sighed deeply and placed the tee-shirt i had folded in my suitcase and in my most heart wrenching voice i calmly told her ‘Don’t you think i know that..as much as i’m in dire need of a miracle right now, I really want things to be different’

But yeah, whatever!

While she laid on my bed with the huge grin on her pretty face, I weakly smiled and remembered the first time  we met at that groupie party my friend Bode who had a massive crush on me invited me to fourteen years ago..It all happened during summer school popularly known back then as ‘lesson’, I remember leaning on the rail by my class corridor with my ear phones on blasting to  the sound of ‘TLC’s Scrubs’ on my sony walkman  fervently hoping not to be disturbed by bode  whom I had  carefully managed to avoid over the weekend after his ridiculous attempt of writing me a love letter  which he had placed in a red envelope with love stickers  and handed to me as  I was about getting into   the dark brown Peugeot 504 whose horn was loudly blaring...Uncle Bala(my father’s driver) ‘s idea of a perfect entrance.............Memories!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone lightly tapped me on the shoulders and I pretended like i didn’t feel anything..until the unwanted stranger removed the 

earphone on my left ear and i knew it had to be him , he was the only one bold enough to do that, his idea of Over Familiarity....

I turned sideways facing him and innocently smiled,........I really wanted to frown hoping he’ll get the message and leave me the hell alone but knowing him, he was relentless and had the patience of a newborn.

“I know you’ve been avoiding me”…..he mumbled 

“And why would i do that”.....I teasingly replied

“You know why but we’ll talk about that after lesson”....he quietly said not wanting to be overheard by those walking by on the corridor.

“Okay”...I said

Glancing at my swatch , i silently hoped he would do the right thing a normal teenager would do which was to walk away when he was clearly ignored  or better still I needed a distraction from anywhere but nothing happened and i could hear my watch ticking fast...should I walk away,  I mean, it’s not like he broke up with me or anything, so why was my palm sweaty..It definitely had to be the heat, it just had to be...

“Lola, are you coming as well”....Bukky  ‘my lesson friend’ as i like to call her screamed while heading toward my direction, lorddddddd, that girl had the voice of a roaring lion, loud and ready to devour...

“Coming where”.I annoyingly replied  as I stared at bode while he mouthed something which was obviously drowned by Bukky’s  loud voice.

“The party now, the one happening after lesson.I thought Bode told you” she said while poking bode in the shoulder....everyone knew she had more than a crush on bode but he seemed unaware apparently...

Shrugging off her hand from his shoulder, with a ‘why did you do that expression ‘ on his face .he turned and said ‘A couple of guys are having a party after lesson and please don’t say you wont come”...

“I can’t”..i bluntly said

Why?....he replied

“I just can’t, what would I tell my father’s driver when he comes to pick me”...I said ,silently thinking of a million ways why I should go..It won’t hurt  and i could bribe Uncle bala ...hmmmmmm

After much persuasion, I finally yielded  .And as we drove to the party, i felt a slight rush of adrenaline,.Do I look presentable.. So I was wearing my black hipsters and a light green flowery top and my ever faithful ‘jelly’ sandals...was that appropriate for a party????..

We’re here, see you guys inside’.....bode  happily said as  he  quickly jumped out of the car for fear of being recognised  by the group of guys standing in front of the black iron gate  which happened to be the entrance  to the party we were going to.....Boysss!!

“Ma pe o(Don’t be late)”....Uncle Bala  said and then drove off. 

As I turned towards the gate, I firmly held bukky’s  hand  as we walked towards the guys at the entrance..Nerve racking, I tell you.there was a lot of ‘hey girls, babes  and whistling here and then , Ignoring them  we walked straight ahead and became drowned by  the voice of Notorious B.I.G  which was blaring loud from the massive speakers  placed by the sliding doors..It was a packed house, bode was no where to be found....Perfect!!! just when i needed  to cling to him  and pretend we were an item ...Bukky had lightly extricated her hands from mine, leaving me to myself......

To be continued...